Why the Holidays are a Great Time to Talk About Estate Planning

The Holiday Season officially starts this week with Thanksgiving on Thursday, Christmas four weeks from that, and New Years a week from Christmas. Since you’re going to be seeing your friends and family more often for the next six weeks, why not take the time to have those estate planning discussions you’ve been meaning to have but keep putting off?

Seems a bit too awkward, right?

But is it really? Is it more awkward than the political argument that will happen in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner? Or the deeply personal probing questions your aunts and grandma will ask you? Or having to explain the backdrop of family drama to your cousin’s brand new significant other, who is at this family gathering for some reason.

See what I mean? Talking about creating an estate plan to address what happens if a loved one passes away or becomes incapacitated probably won’t be the most uncomfortable conversation you will find yourself in this holiday season.

That is, assuming, of course, you bring up and handle the conversation the right way. Since failing to plan is planning to fail, here are some tips on how to set up and handle the conversation the right way.

How to Handle the Conversation

In an ideal world, the relatives you’re concerned about would bring it up themselves and ask you for help. Unfortunately, that’s almost always not how it works. If you want to have this conversation, you’ll have to find a way to bring it up. And this can be challenging because, unless you work in the field, there really isn’t a way to bring up estate planning organically. 

Regardless of whether you’re concerned about a particular relative because you’ve noticed they’ve become more forgetful lately, they might not be able to live independently anymore, or if your concern is motivated by their age, wait until you can talk to them in private. Bringing up a sensitive topic like this openly can leave them feeling cornered and ganged up on.

Once you’ve set aside the time to speak privately, you need to find a way to broach the subject. You should start off by letting them know you wanted to talk out of concern for their well-being. Let them know you’ve noticed some changes, and you want to know if something has happened. Listen to their response with empathy. Also, keep in mind, your loved one may not be aware of the things you’ve noticed, perhaps they don’t want to let go of their sense of independence, or they might feel embarrassed by this topic even in a private setting. Let them know it’s important that their wishes for themselves and property are honored. And that the best way to do that is getting an estate plan in place.

Using Your Own Curiousity

Another way to broach the subject is to bring up your own interest in estate planning (which you probably have since you’re reading this.) If you’ve recently completed your own estate plan, talk about your positive experience throughout the process and the benefits, like the sense of security and peace of mind you’ve received since completing it. You wanted to know if they’ve completed their own plan, or had it reviewed recently, and could help them if they’re interested.

If you haven’t completed your own plan, tell them you are curious about estate planning, and wanted to ask them their perspective on it. Since you’re both coming from a place of curiosity, you can ask questions that will get them thinking about the reality of things.

If your loved one tells you they already have an estate plan, consider asking them when was the last time they had it reviewed and where it is in case you ever need to access those documents.

TealAcre: Estate Planning for You and Your Loved Ones

And there you have it. You should now be able to navigate a conversation that conversation about estate planning you’ve been meaning to have with that one relative for a couple of years now. Just remember, this is not the only uncomfortable interaction you’re going to be a part of this holiday season. But it’s probably the only interaction you’re going to leave feeling better and closer to your family than when you went entered it.

You read this far because you’re curious about estate planning. And, you’re curious about estate planning because you have questions. These questions can be related to what will happen to your family, your assets, or business should anything happen to you. Instead of going at it alone, let TealAcre help you get the clarity and peace of mind you’re looking for. To contact us you can:

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